Alcoholics
Anonymous History
Dick B.’s Story
“Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly
followed our path."
(Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th ed., 26)
Dick B.’s
Story
(May 1, 2012)
I was born in Stockton, California, in 1925. I was the only
child of two loving parents. My dad was a successful securities salesman. My
mother was a concert pianist and studied the Bible every day. My dad had quit
smoking before I was born, and neither parent gave evidence of any problem with
alcohol. I saw no reason to smoke, and I didn’t. I saw no reason to drink, and
I did not drink until I returned from the Army at age 21.
In school, I excelled. Top of my class in high school and
valedictorian at my graduation. At the University of California in Berkeley, I
was elected to Phi Beta Kappa in my Junior Year and was president of the Inter
Fraternity Scholastic Honor Society. Before going to Stanford, I received an
A.A. degree in Economics with Honorable Mention. At Stanford University, I was
elected to the board of Stanford Law Review, on the basis of grades, and became
Case Editor of the Stanford Law Review in my second year on the board. There
received B.A. in Law and a Doctor of Jurisprudence degree
I married a Stanford girl, and we had two sons. Neither she
nor the sons were or became alcoholics. And, after a successful ten-year career
as an attorney in a San Francisco law firm, I opened my own law office in Corte
Madera, California. I had suffered from sleeping problems in law school and
ever since. A psychiatrist had been the first of many physicians who enabled
me, step by step, to become dependent upon and to abuse high-powered sedatives
and such mind-altering palliatives as valium, thorazine, and quide. Worse, I
began mixing them with drinks during the night; and soon I was passing out on
the kitchen floor each morning with an almost unbearable body discomfort I
called the “heeby jeebies”—not a shaking without, but certainly an unbelievable
trembling within. None of this had the slightest impact in deterring my
continued excessive drinking.
As success in my law practice increased, the time spent
practicing law decreased. But not before I had been very active in business,
community, service, and religious affairs. I held an elected office; became president
of a Merchant Council and Chamber of Commerce; was Secretary and Vice President
of a service club, and became president of a community church and of its
retirement center. The money poured in. Ten years later, the story was very
different. My drinking had accelerated to the point that I was daily in an
almost-drunken state by day’s end. I drank at service club meetings, at chamber
of commerce functions, at church meetings, at social events, at the business
quarters of a regular drinking buddy next door to my office, and finally alone
at home in the evenings. My wife wouldn’t even leave the kitchen to join me
despite appeals for her company. If someone had told me I had a problem with
alcohol and prescription drugs—and they did—my response was that the problem
was my wife, my sleep disorders, and occasionally the number of “minor” auto
accidents which occurred when I drank “just a little too much.” Friends,
colleagues, physicians, my minister, and other erring commentators—including
even some bartenders—began to tell me and others that I was drinking too much.
But that did not deter me at all. I had reached the point where I didn’t care
what they thought.
I quit drinking for almost two years, however, when my
doctor suggested I go on the Pritikin Diet to lose a considerable amount of
weight and also to eliminate liquor “for a while.” In this endeavor, I also
excelled, losing some 80 pounds, swimming daily, drinking soda water, and
following the Pritikin formula. Then I left my wife—cold turkey. The kids had
graduated from college and made new lives, and the joy in my marriage had long
since left. Or so I thought.
Armed with this new-found fighting trim, I must have believed
that I deserved to renew drinking. But alcohol and drugs had taken a toll I did
not recognize. They had removed inhibitions and restraints that had previously
been solid moral standards in my life. I began engaging in unethical and
irresponsible behavior with a “let them eat cake” attitude. And then I got “caught.”
A resentful relative of a client called the newspapers and the State Bar. My
name appeared repeatedly in the news, along with my picture. I became severely
depressed; my clients vanished; and I drank with a vengeance I hadn’t imagined
possible. Nothing changed. In fact, everything seemed to get increasingly worse
and unbearable—the depression, the drinking, the sleeping pills, the troubles,
and the terror. Finally, I consulted a psychiatrist who recommended different
sleeping pills and anti-depressants. But I couldn’t wait. I went home, poured a
four-ounce glass of cheap gin, and went into an entire week’s blackout—a period
I can’t recall or describe even these 26 years later. And that incident, plus a
return to the psychiatrist, and the suggestion of my ex-wife, brought me to the
rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous two days sober and ready to conquer the world
without booze. But nobody in A.A. had told me about detoxing, seizures, brain-damaged
thinking, and bodily withdrawal misery. Nor was there any idea of the financial
and legal wreckage I had created.
What did happen was a series of events that has left me with
a continuing appreciation of the unique value of Alcoholics Anonymous to new
and still-suffering alcoholics. At early meetings, I had feared the opinions of
those who had seen my picture in the newspapers, who might discover some of the
things I had done, and who were not as crazy as I was becoming. But those items
were definitely unimportant to the mass of drunks I met. At every meeting I
attended, I was hugged, welcomed, given phone numbers to call, invited to join
other alcoholics after the meetings, given meeting schedules for later
meetings, told to “stick with the winners” and “keep coming back” because “it
works.” I used the phone numbers repeatedly, followed other recovered
alcoholics around, and went to meetings without ceasing. I began to participate
in A.A. service where given the opportunity. What these things did for me
inspired me to go and do likewise. And I still do. I never see a newcomer at a
meeting or a conference or even in a personal encounter without a focus on that
person’s story and needs and a possible opportunity to help.
Within a mere nine days of attaining sobriety, however,
things changed. I had three grand-mal seizures, the first at an A.A. meeting,
the second in the ambulance on the way to the hospital, and the third in the
Emergency Room. And these, in turn, took me to a 28-day treatment program—in
all cases, with no significant mention of the importance of turning to God for
help. Hence I didn’t. I put abstinence and A.A. first—just as my fellowship
contactst seemed to be urging.
In no time at all, I faced the wreckage of the past—sober,
but stuck as well with a relentless District Attorney, State Bar
investigations, a series of ponderous tax audits and levies, divorce
outcroppings, loss of my Law License, lack of means of support other than that
remaining from my own earlier investments, and a terror and depression and
despair that far exceeded that in my drinking period. Without the “supportive”
help of booze or sleeping pills, I went sleepless for months and months. I felt
like a zombie. I shook for five years. They called me “Shaky Dick.” And my mind
was seemingly only a shadow of its former self—producing mostly forgetfulness,
confusion, bewilderment, incessant and irrelevant chatter, and tangential talk
patterns. Added to that was the unpleasant fact that I was wetting my pants
regularly in A.A. meetings.
By the end of the second month of my sobriety—the period
just after I was discharged from the treatment program—I couldn’t handle any of
these problems any more; so I checked into a VA psychiatric ward in San
Francisco and there remained for two months. I wasn’t as looney as some of the
patients, but I was twice as jittery, anxious, and talkative as most of them. I
was diagnosed as having some form of “hypomania.” I now believe it was “fear”
mania!
But I had definitely caught the A.A. bug. I didn’t drink. I
didn’t take sleeping pills. I suffered miserably from fear and insomnia. I went
to A.A. meetings devotedly, called my sponsor regularly, and followed the
crowd. Very importantly, I was made to feel wanted. I sought A.A. companionship
in meetings and retreats and conferences and studies. I chased newcomers and
tried to help them—even dragging alcoholics from the VA psych ward with me to
A.A. meetings all over the San Francisco Area. But terror and despair still
plagued me at every turn.
I faced prison, financial ruin, a lost reputation,
unbearable physical consequences of delayed withdrawal, incredible mental
incapacity, insomnia, depression, uncontrolled anxiety, loneliness, and a
seemingly-hopeless state of fear. I briefly wanted to take my life—in sobriety!
Neither abstinence nor A.A. nor the psych ward was cutting it for me.
But two factors dramatically changed both the circumstances
and my entire life at about eight months of sobriety. These came into play
while I was in the psychiatric ward in San Francisco. One of my sons kept
insisting that I needed to study the Bible and get back into what I had learned
about the availability of help from my Heavenly Father and the accomplishments
of His son Jesus Christ. That son sent me biblical tapes to which I began
listening. And then, almost every day, an elderly friend from our Bible
fellowship kept calling me long distance and listening to me wail. Finally, he
asked why I didn’t stop trying to program my life and instead let God guide it.
He cited the story of Peter’s walking on the water. When Peter believed, said
this man, he walked. When he became afraid, he sank. And it took Jesus to pull
him out of the water. I quickly saw that I had a choice—to learn and believe
what God had to offer, or to yield my thinking to the seeming disasters the
world was offering. To seek what God had to offer and travel where He sent me.
I chose God’s help and healing. I believed. Peace came. And without a doubt, I
can say that my almost-instantaneous response to these events was to believe
that, no matter what might lie ahead, God had the answers to life; and that I
had better seek Him first.
On weekend passes from the psych ward, I began attending my
elderly friend’s Bible fellowship. I stuck with A.A., and I stuck with the
Bible fellowship also. And I got well. Quickly! Nurses noticed it. Family
members noticed it. And even my attorney announced that I was ready to bite the
bullet—facing whatever the courts, the State Bar, and the newspapers had to
throw at me.
The result? I was buttressed with solid sobriety, the A.A.
program, and the Word of God. More important, with the help of my Heavenly
Father. I had a Big Book and a Bible. And my sponsor jokingly observed: Dick is
armed, but not dangerous. The fear vanished. I faced and dealt with court
hearings, imprisonment, financial problems, divorce problems, tax problems, and
reputation problems. I was released from the VA hospital and began A.A. life in
earnest. I studied and learned A.A.’s Big Book. I studied, practiced, “took,”
and learned how to take others through, the Twelve Steps. I sponsored
newcomers. I served the Fellowship as a speaker, chairperson, secretary,
treasurer, General Service Representative, greeter, chair carrier, and floor
sweeper. I went to A.A. meetings, gatherings, retreats, conferences, birthday
parties, dances, and campouts.
It was then time—long overdue-- to grow in my relationship
with, understanding of, and fellowship with my Heavenly Father, and to change
my emphasis to serving and glorifying Him. But I hadn’t fully grasped the fact.
Nonetheless, I began bringing newcomers to Christ, and into
our Bible fellowship, while not in any way diminishing their participation in
and service to Alcoholics Anonymous. Today some of these newcomers are more
than 24 years sober, are married, have a family and a job, and are blessed with
strong believing. I thanked God daily for what He had done for me. I asked God
daily for His directions as to how to serve Him. I studied the Bible daily and
read Bible-based literature daily. I prayed to God daily for myself and others.
I affirmed the clear evidence that God could and would and did rescue me.
I began fellowshipping with like-minded believers—many of
whom had been completely cured of alcoholism and addiction without even having
heard of Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous. But I stuck to them, and to
A.A., and to helping others in A.A. I still do.
I had done all things without any knowledge of the fact that
my behavior much resembled the behavior of the pioneers in A.A. and of those in
numerous movements that came into existence before A.A. And what had my
“predecessors” done?
Here is how I found out. I had been sober and very active in
A.A. for about four years. One night, a young man named John—now dead of
alcoholism—walked up to me in a Step Study meeting in San Rafael, California,
and asked if I knew that A.A. had come from the Bible. John was in the Bible
fellowship I was involved with and knew of my interest in Scripture. I
responded that I had been to hundreds and hundreds of meetings; that I had been
to many conferences; but that I had never heard such a thing. John suggested
that I read the A.A. General Service Conference-approved book, DR. BOB and
the Good Oldtimers (New York, NY: Alcoholics Anonymous World Services,
Inc., 1980). John said it would provide details about the biblical roots of our
A.A. Fellowship. He pointed out that the Book of James had been so popular in
early A.A. that members had wanted to call their Society, “the James Club.” I
jumped at the suggestion and began reading as much A.A. historical material as
I could find. There certainly was actually relatively little to find. Yet, sure
enough, the Bible was mentioned frequently. Also the James Club account. Also
Dr. Bob’s statements that the basic ideas of A.A. had come from the pioneers’
study of the Bible; that the old-timers believed the answers to their problems
were in the Bible; and that the Book of James, Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, and
1 Corinthians 13 were considered absolutely essential to the program’s success.
[See the A.A. General Service Conference-approved pamphlet, The Co-Founders
of Alcoholics Anonymous: Biographical Sketches; Their Last Major Talks (New
York, NY: Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc., 1972, 1975), 11-14, 18-20.]
I was later to learn that most of the material in Dr. Bob’s talk was
incorporated into the DR. BOB and the Good Oldtimers book I had
previously read.
And success there had been for sure. The A.A. basic text, Alcoholics
Anonymous (also known as the Big Book), stated that, of those alcoholics
who really tried, 50% got sober and remained that way; and 25% sobered up after
some relapses. [See Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th ed. (New York,
NY: Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc., 2001), xx.] It also said of the
A.A. members whose stories were included in the book: “Each individual, in the
personal stories, describes in his own language and from his own point of view
the way he established his relationship with God” (Alcoholics Anonymous,
4th ed., 29). DR. BOB and the Good Oldtimers pointed out on
page 261: “Records in Cleveland show that 93 percent of those who came to us
never had a drink again.” And the early Cleveland A.A. fellowship used the same
principles that had been used successfully in Akron, together with the Big Book
(first published in 1939), the Twelve Steps, and the “Four Absolutes” of the
Oxford Group (absolute honesty, absolute purity, absolute unselfishness, and
absolute love) as moral standards for testing behavior.
Moreover, the principles and practices of the early Akron
A.A. Christian Fellowship had caused many an objective observer—particularly
those among the supportive Rockefeller people—to observe that early A.A. was “First
Century Christianity” at work. The pioneers in Akron were engaged in daily
practices the Apostles carried on in the Book of Acts. And you just never found
a speaker or a sponsor talking about that.
Wow!
Then came a further turning point—an event which was to
change my life pursuits, my interests, and my service to the Creator and His
son Jesus Christ. I had never heard anything significant about God, or Jesus
Christ, or the Bible in the many A.A. fellowship meetings I had attended. Yet
A.A.’s own General Service Conference-approved literature contained much to
suggest there was more to the picture than most knew. For example, I had read
that early AAs in Akron had called themselves a Christian fellowship. (See DR.
BOB and the Good Oldtimers, 118.) I had read that they stressed Bible study
and old-fashioned prayer meetings. I had read that Christian literature was
distributed to them by Dr. Bob for reading and study. And I had read that Dr.
Bob always insisted that newcomers in the hospital profess a belief in God and
surrender their lives to Christ. [See Dick B., The Akron Genesis of
Alcoholics Anonymous, 2d ed. (Kihei, HI: Paradise Research Publications,
Inc. 1998), 177-78, 181-86, 187, 188-215. And see also DR. BOB, 144, for
the specifics of what I later found.]
I still knew very, very little about what the A.A. pioneers
actually did, where they got their ideas, and why their program produced such a
high rate of success.
In almost every meeting I attended, there was incessant
chatter about some “higher power.” One man insisted his “higher power” was
Ralph. Another insisted that “it” was a rock. Another insisted that “it” was a
chair. And still another insisted that “it” was the Big Dipper. These remarks
were made regularly in meetings I attended in Marin County, California. There
was also bizarre talk about “spirituality” that was foreign to my ears. Where,
I thought, did such nonsense come from? To make matters worse, my own friend
and sponsor began telling me that people who read the Bible got drunk. His
sponsor convened a meeting where he and my own sponsor “warned” me that I was
getting ready to drink because I had brought my sponsees to a Bible fellowship.
But there was still more to be experienced and endured.
I myself have never been the slightest bit concerned about
the fact that many of my A.A. friends are Roman Catholics and Jews and that
they talk about their faith in meetings. But I began picking up at A.A.
meetings some A.A. General Service Conference-approved literature which seemed
to endorse, and even encourage, unbelief—the idea that you didn’t need to
believe in anything at all to get well. The following are but a few of many
examples:
“A.A. is not a religious society,
since it requires no definite religious belief as a condition of membership. .
. . Included in its membership are Catholics, Protestants, Jews, members of
other religious bodies, agnostics, and atheists. . . . A.A. suggests that to
achieve and maintain sobriety, alcoholics need to accept and depend upon
another Power recognized as greater than themselves. Some alcoholics choose to
consider the A.A. group itself as the power greater than themselves; for many
others, this power is God—as they individually understand Him; still
others rely upon entirely different concepts of a Higher Power” [44
Questions, 19].
“The majority of A.A. members
believe that we have found the solution to our drinking problem not through
individual willpower, but through a power greater than ourselves. However,
everyone defines this power as he or she wishes. Many people call it God,
others think it is the A.A. group, still others don’t believe in it at all.
There is room in A.A. for people of all shades of belief and nonbelief” [A
Newcomer Asks . . .].
“While some members prefer to call
this Power ‘God,’ we were told that this was purely a matter of personal
interpretation; we could conceive of the Power in any terms we thought fit” [This
is AA: An Introduction to the A.A. Recovery Program, 15].
“Many people in A.A. talk about
‘God’ or a ‘Higher Power,’ but A.A. is not connected with any religion. A.A. is
a spiritual program, not a religious one. Faith is a personal thing and it is
not necessary to believe in God or in any form of religion to be a member of
A.A. . . . Atheists, agnostics, and believers of all religions have a place in
A.A.—provided they wish to stay away from the first drink.” [AA and the
Gay/Lesbian Alcoholic, 16].
The foregoing statements were not consistent with A.A.’s Big
Book text as I read it. A.A.’s Steps said it was about “coming to believe.”
(See Step Two.) The original language of that Step—before it was changed
dramatically in 1939—said: “Came to believe that God could restore us to
sanity.” And the many A.A. statements quoted above were not consistent with
Bill Wilson’s message that the Lord had cured him of his terrible disease (Alcoholics
Anonymous, 4th ed., 191). Neither were they consistent with Dr.
Bob’s statement that he felt sorry for the atheist and the agnostic because
“Your Heavenly Father will never let you down” [Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th
ed., 181]. Nor were they consistent with Dr. Bob’s insistence that newcomers
profess a belief in God before they were released from Akron City Hospital (DR.
BOB and the Good Oldtimers, 144). Granted, such statements are not today
considered mandatory, any more than opening the parachute is when you jump out
of an airplane. But they represented to me the wisdom of the winners—our
founders.
I didn’t have a problem with the diversity and varieties of
believers and unbelievers I met in the rooms of A.A. But I did have a big
problem with the ever-growing talk about idols (I call them nonsense higher
powers)—called light bulbs, door knobs, chairs, trees, radiators, Big Dippers,
and even Santa Claus/
I also had a big problem with the ever-increasing vocalizing
by a few “bleeding deacons” (as some call them) who said that you could not
mention the Bible or God in a meeting; that the Bible and other religious
literature were not “Conference-approved” and therefore could not be brought to
a meeting; or that it was a violation of the Twelve Traditions of A.A. for a
person to share his or her own experience about how he or she established his
or her relationship with God. And the “official,” “A.A. General Service
Conference-approved literature” quoted above, combined with the vociferous and
seemingly-irrepressible outbursts of some at meetings, seemed to me to be at
great variance with the program I entered, the program I had learned from the
Big Book, and the encouragement I had received from A.A. members and meetings
when I needed it most—even when I talked much about looking to God for help in
my life.
I wondered how one could reject God in a program which spoke
so much about God. Stewart C., has shown that the word “God”—when considered
together with synonyms and pronouns referring to Him--can be found more than
400 times in A.A.’s Big Book. [Stewart C., A Reference Guide to the Big Book
of Alcoholics Anonymous (Seattle, WA: Recovery Press, 1986), 115-16)]. So I
resolved to go to the Seattle International Convention of Alcoholics Anonymous
in 1990 in order to try to find out what role, if any, the Bible had really
played in the founding, development, program, and successes of Alcoholics
Anonymous. There I met Frank Mauser, the General Service Archivist from New
York. But I was able to discover very little about the role of the Bible in
early A.A. And upon my return, my older son and I had a discussion about
launching a real effort to discover what role, if any, God, Jesus Christ, and
the Bible had played in the tremendous successes of early A.A.
With encouragement from Frank Mauser, Dr. Bob’s children
(Sue Smith Windows and Robert R. Smith), Ray G. (archivist at Dr. Bob’s Home in
Akron), and later Ozzie and Bonnie L. (the managers of the Wilson House where
Bill Wilson was born in East Dorset, Vermont)—I devoted the next 23 years to
learning details about A.A.’s use of the Bible. I investigated what its early
program really did; where the reliance of members on God really fit in; what
proof there was of the early success rates; and what institutions, principles,
practices, and Bible studies had impacted on early A.A., on the Big Book and
Twelve Steps, and ultimately on the literature of today. I’ll let those who
would like to know more about what I have discovered so far learn the details
from my 44 published titles on the subject. (See http://www.dickb.com/titles.shtml.)
But, to say the least, there is far more to A.A., its roots, its successes, and
its early reliance on the Creator for healing and help than virtually anyone
involved in present-day treatment, therapy, professional groups, 12-Step
groups, or religious fellowships knows.
Today I believe there is “A New Way Out” of the wilderness.
“A New Way Out” for children of the living Creator who are awash and adrift in
the sea of gossip, speculation, opinion, and unbelief that exists in most of
today’s recovery scene. What wilderness? It is a wilderness that A.A.
“cofounder” Rev. Sam Shoemaker called “self-made religion” and “absurd names
for God.” A wilderness of outright idolatrous thinking and amateur
psychological introspection. Let me illustrate “A New Way Out” with my own
experiences.
The alcoholic: The
“wilderness” I am speaking about concerns the alcoholic’s own plight—not the
nature or shortcomings of A.A., of N.A., or of other 12-Step or
recovery-oriented fellowships. As I have told above, I had become a
full-fledged drunk and sleeping pill addict by the time of my entry into A.A.
Smitten by a seemingly-uncontrollable intention to drink too much regardless of
the consequences. Driven by a desire to return to the mire again and again,
despite the known and predictable self-destructive disasters. Bill Wilson
wrote: “Many do not comprehend that the alcoholic is a very sick person” [Alcoholics
Anonymous, 4th ed., xiii]. I was!
The Bible called the sickness a sin. It clearly commanded
“And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; . . .” (Ephesians 5:18a, KJV).
But I did just that! Later, in sobriety, I came to see what I had actually been
doing. I drank. I got drunk. I produced disaster. Yet I returned to that same
pattern over and over—always seeing the disasters get worse. The Book of James—a
favorite in early A.A.—defined the
progression from temptation to death. Many have called this “lunacy.”
Perhaps the Apostle Peter best described the behavior when he spoke of the
proverb, “The dog is returned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was
washed to her wallowing in the mire.” (2 Peter 2:21, KJV). But I got tired of
hearing in A.A. that I was “powerless” over alcohol, even over “people, places,
and things.” Such doleful “acceptance” didn’t sit right with what I knew was my
own need for responsibility, control, and accountability. In fact, however, Dr.
Bob’s wife Anne made plain in her journal that a stronger power than mine was
needed achieve victory. (See Dick B., Anne Smith’s Journal, 1933-1939; http://dickb.com/annesm.shtml.)
And when--as a child of the one, true, living God--I utilized that power (the
power of Almighty God) and did what God commanded in the Bible, I neither drank
again, nor wanted to.
There remained, however, a very real and destructive
condition and illness still to be dealt with—brain damage, withdrawal, fear,
anxiety, guilt, shame, despair, legal troubles, imprisonment, hospitalization,
confusion, forgetfulness, sleeplessness, bewilderment. I didn’t want to drink.
I just wanted it all to go away—immediately! I just wanted out. But I found for
myself that God provided the power, the love, the strength, the healing, the
forgiveness, the guidance, and the rescue. I could and did face the multiple
problems believing the truths in biblical promises like these:
I will instruct thee and teach
thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye. (Psa
32:8, KJV)
I sought the LORD, and he heard
me, and delivered me from all my fears. (Psa 34:4, KJV)
God is our refuge and strength, a
very present help in trouble. (Psa 46:1, KJV)
In God have I put my trust: I will
not be afraid what man can do unto me. (Psa 56:11, KJV)
In thee, O LORD, do I put my
trust: let me never be put to confusion. (Psa 71:2, KJV)
Bless the LORD, O my soul, and
forget not all his benefits: Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth
all thy diseases; Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee
with lovingkindness and tender mercies. (Psa 103:2-4, KJV)
Trust in the LORD with all thine
heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge
him, and he shall direct thy paths. (Pro 3:5-6, KJV)
The fear of man bringeth a snare:
but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe.” (Pro 29:25, KJV)
To me, these were not simply quaint or catchy sayings. Nor
were they what new A.A. detractors are now calling them—defunct Protestant
fundamentalism. No! They were promises of God. And, true to His promises, God
produced the results when I put the words in my mind and consistently repeated
and believed them. That, I believe, is what the Bible assures us.
There were more pertinent verses. They were specifically
addressed to the born-again believer, and based on what Jesus Christ had come
to do and make available. I learned, believed, and saw that his work and
sacrifice had made me free. I had to claim that freedom. Some of the Bible
verses that helped me include the following:
For all have sinned, and come
short of the glory of God: Being justified freely by his grace through the
redemption that is in Christ Jesus. Whom God hath set forth to be a
propitiation through faith in his blood to declare his righteousness for the
remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God. (Rom 3:23-25,
KJV)
There is therefore no condemnation
to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the
Spirit. (Rom 8:1, KJV)
Who shall separate us from the
love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or
nakedness, or peril, or sword? . . . . Nay, in all these things we are more
than conquerors through him that loved us. (Rom 8:35, 37, KJV)
That if thou shalt confess with
thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised
him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. (Rom 10:9, KJV)
And be not conformed to this
world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove
what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God. (Rom 12:2, KJV)
Therefore if any man be in Christ,
he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold all things are become
new. (2 Cor 5:17, KJV)
And God is able to make all grace
abound toward you: that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may
abound to every good work. (2 Cor 9:8, KJV)
Casting down imaginations and
every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and
bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. (2 Cor 10:5,
KJV)
Now thanks be unto God, which
always causeth us to triumph in Christ, and maketh manifest the savour of
Christ in them that are saved, and in them that perish. (2 Cor 2:14, KJV)
Now unto him that is able to do
exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power
that worketh in us. (Eph 3:20, KJV)
Giving thanks unto the Father,
which hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in
light. Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us
into the kingdom of his dear Son. (Col 1:3, KJV)
For God hath not given us the
spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. (2 Tim 1:7,
KJV)
My experience, then, was that—by reading these and many
other verses over and over and over; by putting them in my mind as frequently
as possible and whenever negative claims were made over me; and by believing
them—my release, my deliverance, and the peace of God came into my life. The
accomplishments of God’s own son had delivered me from the wilderness, not
merely of being an alcoholic (sick and sinful with excess), but from the status
of a beaten-down child filled with guilt, shame, anxiety, despair, fear, bodily
maladies, and a sense of hopelessness. And I know that, as one of God’s kids, I
still am and can be rescued.
When sober and instructed, the choice is mine. And I try to
tell others that--through becoming a child of God, through learning the truth
about Him and His will, and through walking in fellowship with Him and His son
Jesus Christ--they too can be delivered from their drinking problem and from
much, much more as well. That is my testimony.
The message: There
is a simple message that I carry today to those willing to listen and who want
my help. It is this: God wants all men to be saved and to come unto the
knowledge of the truth (1 Tim 2:4). We can be saved—born again of the Spirit of
God—by confessing Jesus as Lord and believing that God raised Jesus from the
dead (Rom 10:9; John 3:1-16). When God’s kids then seek Him out by studying His
Word and communicating with Him, they can walk from darkness to light as and
when they walk in fellowship with Him and His son, and keep His word (1 John
1:1-10; 2:1-6).
Still “A New Way Out” today: For centuries, believers have pointed to the way out and
rescue for those who wanted help. These laboring believers have included
workers in the YMCA, in Christian Endeavor Society, in the Salvation Army, in
Gospel Rescue Missions, and in revivals. Even workers in the Oxford Group with
which Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob were briefly associated. Whatever their particular
technique, their message was salvation and a new life in Christ. There was the
additional stipulation that the message be carried to others. The founder of
the YMCA took young men off the streets of London and into his basement,
brought them to Christ, and held Bible studies—rescuing them from destruction.
Evangelists in and out of the YMCA followed suit. Christian Endeavor Societies
formed young people’s groups in the churches themselves and taught them
confession of Christ, Bible study, prayer, Quiet Hour, obedience, and the
principles of love and service. Salvation Army workers dove into the slums of
London and brought the wretched to Christ and into God’s Army to help others.
Gospel Rescue Missions furnished food, shelter, and brotherhood, but their
unswerving objective was to bring men to the altar, a decision for Christ, and
a changed Christian life. So too the old-time revivals and tent meetings. And
so too the Oxford Group people who were focused on changing lives through
surrender to God. This was the way alcoholics were helped in the early days of
A.A. as well.
Once informed of God’s way, suffering souls flocked to the
rescue, confessed belief in God, accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour,
fellowshipped together, and grew through Bible study, prayer meetings, and
Quiet Times. Love and service to others was the only demand made of them.
Today, when someone in an A.A. meeting tells a person, as
they did me, that people get drunk if they read the Bible, I feel disappointed
that they know so little about the real Way out. When someone tells a person in
A.A. or some recovery fellowship that they can’t mention or study the Bible in
A.A., I feel equally disappointed that hurting souls may soon be deprived of
what the early solution was. When someone says that the Bible and religious
literature cannot be read because they are not “Conference-approved,” I wonder
how many newcomers are being driven away from a relationship with and reliance
upon God. When someone talks of some nonsense god that can be a tree, a
radiator, a light bulb, or a group, I think of the clear-cut descriptive
language in Psalm 115 about the impotence of false gods. And I regret that a
newcomer is hearing that he can pray to a light bulb and get well. I’ve yet to
see that happen.
For me, it is about telling my story, reporting the facts
about the role our Creator has played in the YMCA, in Christian Endeavor, in
the Salvation Army, in Gospel Rescue Missions, in the Oxford Group, and in the
early Akron A.A.’s Christian Fellowship. There are other ways, of course. But
the one with unquestioned success is the Way, Jesus Christ (John 14:6).
With increasing fervor, I try to tell people how God’s liberation, power, and
guidance worked in my life, how it worked in the lives of others, and what an
appealing alternative it is to the way of idolatry, apathy, acceptance, and
institutionalized meeting attendance. I point out that eternal life and the
abundant life do not lie in meeting attendance. See John 3:16 and John 10:10.
They spring from a relationship with God and His son Jesus Christ.
An answer today: I
believe there is “A New Way Out”—a way out of the wretchedness of
alcoholism and addiction, out of the bondage of worldly wisdom and opinion and
condemnation, out of the prisons of the mind that come from depression, fear,
physical illness, anxiety, guilt, shame, anger, and resentment. There is “A New
Way Out” for people—not just for people attending Alcoholics Anonymous and
12-Step fellowships—but for those who are homeless, imprisoned, physically
disabled, mentally impaired, at risk, cowering in fear and self-loathing,
drinking and drugging to excess, and encountering major barriers and defeat at
every turn. Those people should not be herded into “centers for
self-centeredness” where they keep confessing how sick and hurting they are. “A
New Way Out” is not a way out of A.A., or 12 Step fellowships, or
therapy, or meetings, or groups, or churches, or psychiatric wards. It starts
with a decision by an individual to stop his or her self-destructive
behavior(s).
The path starts with a determination to “stay stopped”
permanently, to change, to abstain. It starts with a discipline that guarantees
change for those who go to any length to bring it about. For those in deep
holes, as I was, it may take time. But the way out starts by looking up from
the hole--not out or down. The way out begins by believing that “with God
nothing shall be impossible” when God gives the revelation. (See Luke 1:37.)
The way out begins by recognizing that God wants children and enables people to
become His children by acknowledging what Jesus Christ did to make that new
birth possible. (See 1 Peter 1:23.) The way out—the path to deliverance and
freedom—continues when a child of God sets his or her mind, thoughts, and
outpouring words on what God reveals—not on what the world says. (See 1
Corinthians 2:1-16.) The way out—the path assuring deliverance and freedom—is
followed by walking in the light of God’s Word and the revelation He chooses to
give His family members. The way out is assured by obeying God, talking with
Him, and staying in fellowship with Him, His son Jesus Christ, and other
believers. And that way out is just as available today as it was when Peter
urged, after the miracle at Pentecost:
. . . Repent, and be baptized
every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye
shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. For the promise is unto you, and to
your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord
our God shall call. (Acts 2:38-39)
This, and the messages from other messengers in the Book of
Acts, changed the lives of millions and millions of those who believed
throughout the following centuries.
I continue to find it a joy and a privilege to introduce
myself to a newcomer, wherever he or she may be. Then—after gaining his
confidence--to ask if that person would like to become a child of God. I invite
the new person simply to confess with his or her mouth that Jesus is Lord and
to believe in his or her heart that God raised Jesus from the dead. (See Romans
10:9.) And I’m seldom turned down. Then, with them, as it did with me, the
healing and growth can begin. Freedom is certain to follow for those who walk
in fellowship with our Heavenly Father. It did for me. That’s my story.
Gloria Deo
